one journey among many

Fourteen bitter, sweet hours.

2011-12-01T15:33:00.028+11:00

This blog is about my life and journey, but amongst it is the lives of others that impact me. Chantelle, a dear friend, and her husband, Luke, have been on and are continuing a courageous and gut wrenching journey that no one would dare wish to go on. I have seen Chantelle through part of this journey and I have such respect for her and Luke as they have fought hard, struggled and given everything over to God.

Their faith has been challenged to the absolute core. They have remained steadfast along the journey and have influenced more than they realise. God is definitely bringing about good from a heart- breaking situation.

6ish months ago Chan announced her pregnancy. Exciting news of course! Yet early on in this journey a cyst was found on the baby's lungs. The news of this rocked Chan and Luke as it would any excited, expectant parent. From here on in their journey was filled with deep emotion. Bub needed to be scanned twice weekly and the cyst monitored closely. I saw Chantelle struggle her way through, holding onto hope in God for life for her son. I prayed there would be the miracle that her and Luke were crying out desperately for. They threw all their might, fervency and passion into praying for life and praying against death. Not once did I see them give up.

They soon moved their life to melbourne not knowing how long they would be up there for. Chantelle was in and out of hospital every week. Bub was being monitored closely and miracles happened along the way. The cyst was able to be drained which bought them more time. Then in Chantelle's 29th week she went in for a scan and immediately needed to go in for an emergency C-section.

At 11:26am on the 30 november 2011 Floyd Saxon Pitt was born. He lived fourteen precious hours with his parents. This alone was a miracle and an answer to prayer as he was written off by the medical professionals just as his journey began. So to have made it this far to spend time with Chantelle and Luke was a miracle. They deeply treasured these 14 hours, then at 2:00am the next morning he went to be with his Heavenly Father.

The hours and days following I can only imagine were filled with so many emotions, questions and deep heart ache. An experience

that no one can understand unless having been through the loss of a child.

On the 5 december a celebration service for Floyd was held. I went along and was deeply impacted by this service. It was a celebratory service of the short, yet impacting life this little baby lived. There were tears from so many. There is something about a newborn and the gift that they are. To have them taken away after being given them leaves so many unanswered questions about a mysterious God. Yet amongst all this I saw such strength and honesty in Chantelle and Luke. They each shared from their heart on the journey. Chantelle read out a letter she had written to Floyd about her love for him and the journey she had been on with him since the day they knew he existed. Luke shared about what he had learnt on the journey and the power of a thankful heart. That attitude itself takes courage in the face of such pain.

I know these two are going to be ok. God and time, along with the support of family and friends will bring about healing in their hearts and they will be of comfort and wisdom to those who go through similar experiences. Floyd is fine. He is having a wonderful time up above completely whole and healed. It is only faith in times like these that can give hope, sustain and bring healing.

Thankyou to Chantelle, Luke and Floyd for sharing your journey with us. I know there are many that appreciate it and have been deeply impacted along the way. Your honesty, faith and courage along the journey has been refreshing and encouraging.

Much love to you both xx

camping

2011-11-08T22:37:00.009+11:00

camping is so much fun! i love being out in the elements. this weekend just been, me and nick went to bridport and hung out with nick's fam and some friends of ours. so fun just chilling and hanging out all weekend and having nothing to do except what ever you want! there was plenty of sun and beach. we went bike riding and pulled the kids along on the surfboards in the ocean (that was a workout!) and had fire pots at night roasting marshmallows (not me of course being the health freak as i am!). cool nights and warm days. only had a little rain on sunday arvo but otherwise plenty of roasting in the sun to be done. im so looking forward to our honey moon as me and nick are heading off for some camping around tassie!!

to summer, sunny days and serious relaxing with the ones we love.

the joy of being an aunty

2011-11-02T17:56:00.003+11:00

i LOVE being an aunty. it is the funnest relationship within the family. i get to see my little neice everyday, as i live with her, and i love to play with her. she is at the coolest age where she can say 'hello', 'bye bye' and other random words like 'goc' for 'chocolate.' funny she learnt that one quick! of course she is only fed good wholesum chocolate from her aunty!

in this photo she is pulling her 'camera face'. hilarious. its amazing seeing such a small being grow and with so much character and personality. i love taking her out and spending time with her. she laughs and laughs with a great big belly laugh at the randomist things and it reminds me of the simple things in life that can bring so much joy. i took her shopping last week to get some bits and pieces and she wanted to hold onto a ball. she took great delight in continually throwing the ball out of the trolley and expecting aunty em to chase it!! hahahahahaha.

i want to have such a good relationship with her and spend time with her as she grows. theres nothing quite like a special relationship with a neice and/or nephew. i dont have to be her parent (thats a tough job i will leave for the parents) and i can just be like a very older big sister. oh, such fun. im looking forward to dates and sleepovers and healthy chocolate parties when i move out!!

thanks for reading.

discussion

2011-10-30T19:26:00.002+11:00

love good discussion. been chatting with my sis about life and changes we are keen to make towards the healthier and more sustainable, simple life on every level. i believe and think that every level of life can be simplified. it is a challenge in this society but one i believe can be done with a bit of creativity and thinking. amy found this great site...check it out:

www.thewellnesswarrior.com.au

love it. encouraging and challenging.

Sell your unused and unwanted stuff for east africa.

2011-09-10T13:23:00.004+10:00

Been thinking about this devastating and awful famine that is ravaging its way through east africa. It's easy to dissasociate myself from the famine in this world where I live in utter luxury and wealth with everything I need/want at my disposal. Its also easy to be aware of the famine on a global scale and just leave it at that...just being aware...thinking that it is too huge to do anything of any significance and therefore whats the point. Then I try to think about the individuals who are in the midst of the chaos and devastation and I would be thinking, if I was them, I would hope that someone, anyone, somewhere would attempt to do something to help.

I also think about...if I had time with someone who was going through the famine and loosing children and the pain and suffering of it all..if I was in the face of such a person, hearing their story, listening to words from their mouth..i know I would do something for them on the spot. Therefore why should distance keep me from helping in someway. Just because I don’t individually hear words from their mouths and see their tears stream down their face and see their hunger eat away at their own bodies. Just because I cant physically see this doesn’t make it not real.

So I thought I am having a market stall in november at the evandale markets to get rid of all the stuff I have lying around that I dont use/want/need anymore. And I should just give the money raised to an organisation who is getting what is needed to the people affected by this tragedy. So if your keen to jump on board here's some ways you can help:

1. Go through all your stuff over these next couple of months before mid november...

2. Then come out to evandale markets and have a stall with me to sell it all.

3. Or bring your stuff to my house and I can take it out and sell it for you then return whats left to you or take your left over stuff to the op-shop to help those struggling in launceston.

4. Or just donate to http://www.unrefugees.org.au/?WT.mc_id=AWBRAND002&gclid=CNzz_7LgkasCFYoC4godPQ0pZg. (Check it out anyway to see what happening in east africa and how they are helping).

This is where I will be donating the money to that will be raised from the markets:

The UNHCR

The UN Refugee Agency

Established in 1951, the UNHCR (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees) provides and coordinates international relief for refugees and displaced people, offering them protection and assistance at every stage of their ordeal.

As well as providing emergency shelter, food, water and medical care, UNHCR strives to improve refugees' quality of life and future opportunities. The organisation provides infrastructure, schools and income generating projects in established refugee camps and communities.

UNHCR currently cares for more than 26 million people in 123 countries - 80% of whom are women and children - who have been forced to flee their homes because of conflict, disaster and persecution.

UNHCR is the recipient of two Nobel Peace Prizes.

I am not going to put up awful pics and vids of the reality of the famine and war and how it is affecting the people. We have all seen them. But I will just ask that as you sort through your stuff, please consider those who literally have nothing and are deeply desperate, and give what you can to sell so that we can send some money to help those caught up in this tragedy.

Contact me if your keen to join me!!

Thanks for reading.

a dress

2011-09-06T13:35:00.004+10:00

so there is atleast one day in a woman's life when she can where a dress that shes loves, may have always wanted to wear, and can go all out. her wedding day. i have just been sent an email saying i can go pick up my dress! yay. very excited. will be heading to burnie soon to get it. then im going to jazz it up as i like. heard a quote the other day that went along the lines of saying...

'style' is what an individual chooses to wear as an expression of themselves and 'fashion' is what is presented to us by the media, telling us to wear it.

reading.

2011-08-08T17:32:00.003+10:00

Im so excited to be reading a new book called 'Maalika' by Valerie Browning and John Little. I heard her story on tv ages ago and never caught her name or the name of the book she had written. I have been meaning to track it down and learn more about her. Yet it found me! A friend of mine was selling books and I asked for a few not knowing much about them and to my surprise, when I took them home and was flicking through them, I found out one was it! I was stoked!!

I have not read a huge amount lately that doesnt have anything to do with the physiology of the body, yet as I am clammering my way through a nursing degree I love having a break here and there and picking this book up reading a little bit more. I find it so inspiring and challenging on so many levels. One area I am challenged on is the wealth that I am living in and am surrounded by and the consumerisim that is entrenched in our minds. I am aware and mindful of how I live but I know there could be more change in my life. I am confronted by Valerie and what she shares in this book. It is as though she is offended and repulsed by the sheer greed that drives us in the western world that she cant stand to be apart of our society. So she chooses to live among the afar people and offer to them what she has, healthcare.

I often ask questions about how I could live differently to be of benefit to those who are struggling and who have nothing in this world (in our eyes). There needs to be changes made. We are soon going to start paying the cost for our greed. The developing world already is and our time is not far away. Hope we can start wising up.

At the start of the book she has placed a quote in the first couple of pages reading...

"To give and not count the cost.

To fight and not heed the wounds.

To toil and not seek rest.

To labour and not to ask for any reward,

save that of knowing that we do your will."

- St Ignatius of Loyala

Thanks for reading. M

Our engagement party.

2011-08-04T13:26:00.008+10:00

Last saturday evening we had our engagement party. It turned out better than i expected. Heaps of our friends and family came with generous gifts. Was lovely to catch up with them all, especially those we just dont see enough of. The weather was just perfect. The rain held back and it wasn't freezing like it has been the past couple of weeks. Only had to wear a couple of layers!

The guys getting onto the african drums for some good tunes. Love a bit of original live music.

The amazing vannilla slice engagement cake made by Jackie Hill. A healthy alternative in the middle made by moi.

It was such an awesome evening. Out on the deck at the Hill's farm house with LOTS of food. Fire pots on the deck, still, cool evening. Plenty of brilliant live music by friends and plenty of great people to hang out with. Couldn't have been better. Thanks to all those who came and made it what it was. Thanks for celebrating with us in our engagement as we venture towards marriage!

M x

sugar and dairy free smoothie

2011-07-24T14:48:00.005+10:00

this is a delicious smoothie that me and nick have every morning for breakfast after having 1-2 big glasses of water with some added chlorophyll. the water and chlorophyll helps to cleanse out your system each morning and prepare the gut for the food intake that day. the smoothie is full of lots of super foods and good nutrients to start you off for the day. customize it to what suits you. and add as much or as little of each ingredient to suit your taste.

blend together:
some sliced peaches in peach juice (no added crap)
organic frozen blue berries
water kefir
activated buckins
carob powder
chia seeds
blanched almonds
brewers yeast
banana

enjoy!!

coconut baths

2011-07-19T20:45:00.003+10:00

just thought id share with people a good remedy for itchy skin. i have itchy skin through the winter months which at times can drive me mad. coconut oil has been really helping. its a pure oil that is good for us in so many ways. just put a good tablespoon of pure coconut oil in a hot bath with a few drops of your favourite essential smelling oil and jump in. stay in for a good while so it soaks deep into your skin. you will smell great and hopefully it will help with the itchiness. and its pure with no crap from unnatural products.

the night

2011-07-14T22:22:00.003+10:00

i love night time. often it is dark and quiet. everything is still and at rest. theres peace. i find it a great time to study and read. night time or darkness is often equated with going thru a hard time, a dark time. was talking with a friend today who is going thru a hard patch at the moment with big decisions ahead and a time of waiting to see things out. dark times are often times of rest and waiting. its almost like God has allowed us or brought us to the 'dark' place where we can only be reliant on him at that time and rest and wait on him to bring us thru and leave him to sort things out in and around us. its not until days, months or years down the track when we look back on these dark times and only then often see God at work during our rest. these times can be the hardest to hand things over and be reliant on him as we so often want to be in control and do things as we desire. more often than not tho his ways are higher, better and not quite what we would have ever imagined. love it.

thanks for reading.
M

engaged!

2011-06-20T22:15:00.004+10:00

"nothing but the deepest of love will induce me into matrimony" -elizabeth bennet

i love this quote and i have always had it in the back of my mind ever since i heard it as a little girl watching pride and prejudice over and over. i always thought it was such a good way to be thinking if i were to ever marry. so i decided that i would not marry a man until he was, is and will be my deepest love. and i have found him. or maybe the God i believe in had us find eachother.

we met at the pub here in lonnie in september 2009. and i have been crazy about him since. so we are getting married! nick wrote me a song and sang to me asking if i would marry him and gave me a ring that was his mothers which was previously her mothers. i said yes. there was no other answer.

then the excitement hit as we started to tell our friends and family. it was so fun! i love being engaged and want to really enjoy the journey to the lead up to married life. its such a great idea to have to organise a big party to celebrate your committment and love to your best friend, companion, lover...and also for all the people in your world who you have a connection with in some way. some deeper than others. but what an honour. i want to prepare well with simplicity. i do not want to get carried away with what it has become but to remember the important things of what such a day is about.

thanks for reading.

a powerful seed

2011-04-19T21:11:00.004+10:00

the chia seed is grown and harvested in the kimberley region of western australia.

it is one of natures superfoods. chia offers the highest natural percentage of omega-3 essential fatty acids known to man. 60% of this is 20 times more than salmon.

chia supplies more than 5 times the calcium that milk does and 3 times that of flaxseed. 100g chia= 600mg calcium. the same amount of milk contains 120mg!

3 times more iron than spinach

15 times more magnesium than broccoli

chia is a complete source of protein containing all 8 essential amino acids not produced within the human body but neccessary for good health.

19-23% protein by weight.

chia can absorb up to 30 times its weight in water. this soluble fibre helps to clean the intestines by transporting debris from the intestinal walls so that it can be eliminated efficiently. this 'gel' forming property of chia tends to slow digestion and sustain blood sugar levels.

chia is a gluten free whole food comprised of huge amounts of nutrients, vitamins, minerals, EFAs, amino acids and antioxidants.

chia can stay a stable product for years due to it containing cinnamic acids that guard the omega-3 oils from oxidation.

1 level tablespoon (15g) of chia contains:

2.9g omega 3

1.1g omega 6

5.4g fibre

72mg calcium

16.5mg b12

10.5mg folate

43.5mg magnesium

90mg phosphorus

75mg potassium

1mg iron

back in the ancient times the marathon runners that delivered messages for the people had these in a pouch and they snacked on chia when they needed a boost. today it is a marathon runners secret food. they are tastless and so can be put in anything. they can be put in a smoothie to make them more gel like. i put them in almost anything. fruit in the morning, drinks, muffins, bread, on top of stirfrys...etc.

experiment with them and see what you can do with them.

hope this is a bit informative. the more i talk to people the more i know i should be blogging on health and good food that not many people know about. i am passionate about changing our sedentry and unhealthy eating habits so that we can live much happier healthier lives.

i want to be of help to people as a woman once was to me when i was in hospital. she was upfront and honest with me and also very encouraging. hope to do the same.

oh, i have noticed chia becoming a little more mainstream. it is in some of the bread at the main stores. dont get sucked into eating the bread just coz it contains chia...therefore it must be healthy?!! no. the bread from the big stores has heaps of crap in it and its wheat which isnt great for us. its refined and full of preservatives. try and get chia in there rawest form (try and get anything in its rawest form) and eat them that way mixed with good wholesome food.

thanks for reading!!

op shops

2011-04-01T12:51:00.013+11:00

i love op shops. i got into them a couple of years ago just before i left sydney. i started to discover the treasures people chuck out. i am all for chucking things out. its good having a clean out of things we dont use or need. and even better for the stuf to go to an op shop where someone else can pick it up and it be something they will use and the money goes towards the poor in that city. excellent idea. i also love that someone else can pay the 300%mark up and then i can pay about 5-10% on the item when it gets to the op shop and know where that money is going. i rekon that 80%of my wardrobe is op shop clothes now and i am amazed at what i have managed to score. went to the op shop the other day wanting some winter clothes, a jacket, boots and black jeans to be specific...in my mind...and thats what i found. and a cool grey $1 beanie to add to the list. i love clothes. im a typical female. i love experimenting with outfits and having an array of clothes to choose from. i like to be creative and want to be more creative with clothes. i also hav a tendancy to change my clothes often as people who live with me know well!! haha. i am also challenged about how i used to spend money on clothes and wonder what i could use that money for elsewhere? we are such a fashion concious society that judges people by what they wear and how they present themselves. i dont want to feel trapped in that with a need to wear the latest fashion and the popular brands that are ripping me off anyway. and who knows who else in the chain of maufacturing. also the ideas and thoughts around the clothes that i bought in the shops and what that money was contributing to. some contributing to the slave trade and injustice in big factories etc etc so i support op shops. an even bigger step would be to make my own clothes. then theres the question of where the material comes from. i want to recycle more and be more aware of what i consume and how i am contributing to the growing gap between the poor and the rich. then questionning what are the things i can do to lessen the gap.

unknown, courageous heroes.

2011-03-18T13:32:00.008+11:00

i believe some people come into our lives who are family but they arent by blood or marriage. when i was 10 my parents fostered a little girl who was 4. she came into our home already having experinced more than she should have ever experienced. mum and dad took her on fulltime and i soon considered her another younger sister. she lived with us for 7 years. i never, ever imagined she would ever be sent back to her 'blood family.' but due to many circumstances she returned to them. she left when she was 11, nearly 12.

i have not had any contact with her for 8 years. we have tried in many ways but we were shut off. it was a strange thing to, one minute have a sister, then she left and we were no longer allowed any contact. it was like she died but i knew she was still somewhere. there was a strange grieving process my family went through, all that was left was memories and all we could do was pray.

i can imagine it would have been so hard for my parents to hand over their daughter into the hands of departments who you imagine and hope are doing the right thing by the children, with the 'childrens' best interests in mind'. and you have no say...and you wait...waiting without knowing if you'll ever hear from her again.

after 8 years *georgina has contacted us after managing to courageously remove herself from her blood family and once again, has been through more than anyone should ever experience.

i am seeing *georgina this weekend and i cannot wait. i am so excited and a little nervous....cant imagine how she feels, well she told me she is excited to!! shes all grown up now, not a little girl anymore. but a young lady with an incredible story of pain, courage, strength and moving forward with a gentle and full heart. its a strange and beautiful feeling to have a loved one come back into your life whom you havn't had contact with for so many years.

i am amazed at her couarge and strength. she has fought hard to see those pay a minute price for the offences against her. and she has also chosen to not be filled with anger and she chooses to move forward with her life. she is not weak and she is not filled with bitterness and hate. she is in that inbetween beauty of a place that does not tolerate wrong done against her and yet still holds a softness and vibrancy in her heart towards life.

she is my hero.

*georgina in place of 'her' name for protection.

food matters

2011-02-28T18:44:00.003+11:00

so i have been on a journey learning about food and body for the past two years. majority of it has a been a very personal journey going thru alot of sickness and operations. i have come out the other side believing and knowing that food seriously matters to our bodies. i want to share more on this blog about food and the impact of it and the little i know and hope that it contributes to helping others. another dvd, besides the one below, has also been a great watch. its called 'food matters.' i found it in queensland when i was up there recently in a random little organic store. i was stoked.

to introduce..."it is a hard hitting, fast paced look at out current state of health. Despite the billions of dollars of funding and research into new so called cures we continue to suffer from a raft of chronic ills and everyday maladies. This groundbreaking documentary sets about uncovering the trillion dollar worldwide 'sickness industry' and exposes a growing body of scientific evidence proving that nutritional therapy can be more effective, more economical, less harmful and less invasive than most conventional medical treatments. Food Matters features interviews with leading medical experts from around the world who discuss natural approaches to preventing and reversing cancer, obesity, heart disease, depression, mental illness and many other chronic conditions."

check out http://www.foodmatters.tv/

Food Inc - Official Trailer [HD]

2010-12-18T18:28:00.002+11:00

nick recently found a dvd on the net which shows a glimpse of where most of our food comes from. very interesting for sure. definitely worth getting and getting wised up on if haven't already. we are certainly being cheated on what we think is good and healthy for our bodies...and where our food comes from and whats in it.

i have some friends who have a goat and when they go away i get to milk it!! heres some photos of what i was doing this morning. its awesome being able to get your food (or milk) straight from the source rather than it being passed thru many hands and companies before it gets to me.

anzac biscuits

2010-12-07T18:51:00.003+11:00

1/4 cup honey
1 cup oatmeal
125g coconut oil
1 tbs golden syrup (or honey)
1 cup shredded coconut
1 cup kamut or spelt flour
1 level tsp bi carb
2 tbs boiling water

mix all dry ingredients together, pour in melted coconut oil, bi carb, honey and syrup dissolved in boiling water. mix well. roll in small balls and flatten them on oven pan and bake in moderate oven for 20 min. enjoy!!

summer mornings

2010-12-07T11:48:00.003+11:00

went to marrawah last weekend for a wedding and each morning a heap of us got up and went for a surf. on the saturday morning it looked like this on the river. stunning. something so fresh and renewing about being up really early and being outside on a sunny day. i love summer mornings.

we went round to the river mouth where it meets the ocean and the surf looked more surfable!!

moving house and selling stuf.

2010-11-30T08:51:00.003+11:00

i do enjoy moving house because it gives you a chance to go through all your stuff and eliminate what you don't need anymore. with all the stuff i am getting rid of i am going to have a stall at the markets. i think it will be good fun and am hoping to do it every now and then. and even in time if i get creative enough and have enough stuff, maybe sell some things i have made. i have made a few bits and pieces that could be cool to sell. so that could be fun. i sometimes make things for gifts which i think is more personal and more fun.

anyway for now just waiting on a house i have applied for and hopefully will be moving soon and stopping in the one place for a bit. i always seem to move over the holidays. hopefully will be in the next place for longer than 4 months!

children.

2010-11-04T15:30:00.006+11:00

this is my neice ari. i love her to pieces. she is just adorable and i love that i have the privilidge of living with amy and nath (her parents) so that i can see her everyday and watch her grow. i am her 'crazy aunty em' and i love it. i have been around children alot over the years. i have done alot of random babysitting. i was also a sole carer full time nanny in sydney for 2 years to two gorgeous kids aged 7 months and 18 months when i started. it was hard work but i loved it and still miss them to this day. i am seeing them over the summer and cant wait. even tho i love kids and think they are such hilarious, creative and naughty little people i do not greatly desire to have children of my own. i guess being with someone as well makes me think about whether i want children. yet i do not have a huge desire for it and i do not want to have children just because thats what 'you do.' i want to have children if i want children. i think more about the time and resources i have and other things i can put them into. i desire greatly with my nursing to be able to work in developing countries and help the poor with healthcare. i want to study a great deal to be more and more resourceful for people who are less privelidged than myself. i also want to help children who are already here and struggling in life. i also think about things on a global scale. these are some reasons of my own in heading towards the choice of not having children and it is personal.

i take my hat off to parents and think that people who have children are admirable. you have an incredible job in influencing and raising another human being. if a day came when i was to have children then i would devote my life to raising children and i would love it. but i do believe it is a choice which i often pray about and i am heading towards not having children of my own but wanting to help the ones that are already here.

the human body

2010-10-31T16:50:00.003+11:00

the human body fascinates me. it is a myriad of paradoxes. it is complex yet simple, gross and beautiful, delicate and powerful and can be seen as just millions of cells working together or a human being with a soul, spirit, emotions, experiences and knowledge. i am learning more and more to have a deep respect for the human body. the human body has incredible power within itself to bring its own healing if treated and looked after correctly. yet it can also be broken down very quickly and easily by such a small thing. it also amazes me the tolerance the body has and the way it can still function when it is abused day in day out. yet in time something will break and its usually the 'straw that breaks the camels back.' i believe we need more understanding of the body and its cycles and how it functions so that we can look after it and respect it to the best we know how. then we can live our lives and not be run down with multiple health problems. i wonder if its that easy?

image from: dogonaut.com

change

2010-10-20T18:29:00.003+11:00

change follows me. my life seems to always be changing. i was raised in a family where life was always changing. nothing stayed stagnant. we were moving constantly. for the most part i loved it and appreciate the things i learnt from continual change. but i wonder now if, because of all that, i have an innate thing in me that is always craving something different in my life after a certain period of time. i have been to many different schools and lived in many different houses and places in australia. i have had many different kinds of jobs and have now discovered nursing and wanting to do that well. and within that i am wanting to search out and be apart of many different areas within the scope of nursing. i get excited about something and move towards that and then as my knowledge progresses on a topic my mind shifts on that subject else where. at the moment my mind is taken up alot with natural medicine and the potential pursuit of that after nursing. which is a subject that can definitely be incorporated into nursing. thoughts on that are for another blog.

study week

2010-10-19T12:52:00.002+11:00

i am less than 1 week away from my 6 exams starting. my first one is on saturday. im looking forward to them all being over and hoping i do well. i am trying to concentrate hard and study well this week. its hard tho when the sun is shining and i just want to be outside. im trying to think about when i have finished i will definitely be looking back and wanting to think...yep i did my best now i can enjoy the hols. im certainly a planner and it helps with study. if i set out on a list each day the things i want to accomplish i usually end up doing that. today i am doing biology and sociology study prep. i have my carob and goats milk drink and im back to it.

options

2010-10-02T12:17:00.002+10:00

theres so many options one can take in life. i often feel like i come to a place of knowing what i want to do and where i want to go and then it changes again and again. i think thats ok. its also apart of getting to know myself and who i am and what i can contribute. at the moment i am very interested in health from a natural perspective rather than from a medicalised perspective. i think about health from a preventative place rather than from a place of cure. i want to know what can contribute to peoples health positively before health issues arise. i am passionate about lifestyle and what people eat and how it affects us. and i am daily attempting to implement the ideal into my life.

i am glad i am studying nursing because it is definitely giving me a brilliant foundation to start from. But from there on in 2 years time im not sure where i will go and what path i will take. i am still trying to learn to take on one thing at a time. so i will do my nursing degree and then when im done with that and work for a year will think thru what will be next.

challenging and confronting reading

2010-09-18T12:59:00.000+10:00

Im looking forward to reading this book over the summer! i love it when i find a book that i know is going to challenge and confront me. and one that i know can offer solutions of change and is not just revealing the problem.

Pathologies of Power: Health, Human Rights and the New War on the Poor

"Paul Farmer, a physician and anthropologist with twenty years of experience working in Haiti, Peru, and Russia, argues that promoting the social and economic rights of the world's poor is the most important human rights struggle of our time. In Pathologies of Power Farmer uses harrowing stories of life - and death - in extreme situations to link the lived experiences of individual victims to a broader analysis of structural violence. Yet this book is far from a hopeless inventory of abuse. Farmer's disturbing examples are linked to a guarded optimism that new medical and social technologies will develop in tandem with a more informed sense of social justice."

second semester 2010.

2010-07-29T15:55:00.000+10:00

back to uni for second semester and loving it. at the start i was a little overwhelmed by all that was expected of us all. the workload seemed never ending. students were dropping out like flies and it seemed almost impossible to think all could be accomplished before prac. but i have managed to get my head around everything and have good organisational skills...so im doing ok. i love what im learning...but its always the first part of learning something new thats the hardest part overall.

i always keep in the back of my mind why i am doing nursing and that drives me most of the time. its a fairly confronting course on so many levels. you are opened up to some of the most vulnerable and weakest moments in peoples lives. thats a privilidge to be apart of. as a nurse i am being prepared for these moments. i need to work thru issues i have with death, sickness, nakedness, pain, vulnerability and touch. i think it is a profession that places you in some of the most humbling moments of humanity.

surfing

2010-06-18T12:58:00.000+10:00

went surfing yesterday with nick at 9am! the night before had been a stormy and windy night so this apparently means good swell the next day. nick was so excited!! haha. im a little apprehensive surfing in the winter as it is so cold and i think i feel the cold more than alot of people. i am so cold after my surf that when i am changing out of the wetsuit it takes forever as my body has slowed right down. like when you have cold hands and you cant type fast. haha.

we headed out, nick straight out the back with one of his mates and i stayed in closer to shore attempting to stand on the smaller in coming waves. it is fun. when i get out there and have the fresh salty air and water all over me its worth it. i feel refreshed and like ive almost had a time of stopping and thinking alone out in the ocean. i love it. the best moment was when it was raining, there were dark clouds everywhere and the ocean was that dark stormy colour crashing around me. bed seemed better a couple of hours ago, but being outside has something else attached to it. brings me more aligned with the humanness in me.

nursing

2010-05-26T13:42:00.000+10:00

absolutely loving uni. there is so much to learn. i love to learn and find out about new things. especially things that add to life. i am studying nursing and have nearly completed my first semester. the year goes so quick when it is broken up into 2 semesters. i can hardly believe it is nearly june already. i am always looking into things to do with nursing and travel. i want to travel overseas with it and work in remote areas. who knows where i shall go. will wait and see when the time comes. its exciting to know that in 2 and a half years i am going to be qualified in something that can pretty much take me anywhere on the world and help many people. i dont have much interest in working in big hospitals in cities. i want to work in small remote communities where there may not even be a clinic. we shall see. life is exciting when you know there is something you can give.

do i need to drive everywhere?

2010-04-13T12:51:00.000+10:00

i am daily challenged about living simply and how to do so in a complex and western world. i am surrounded and i myself caught in wanting to accumulate. one way we are seen as successful and wealthy revolves around the amount of 'stuf' we have. i dont want to be caught in that and often find myself trying to wade through my 'stuf' and organise what i can recycle, get rid of or if really needed. in class today we were taking about how our worlds are obesogenic and what is being done to change this? so bike paths have been put into place to encourage people to ride their bikes. i want to do that. am excited to go and get my dads bike this arvo and ride it around. use it for small tasks. that feels like its simplifying things a little. and its fun.

ari matilda

2010-04-10T22:59:00.000+10:00

my beautiful niece was born about two weeks ago. it has gone so fast since the birth. my incredible sister went thru so much to bring her into this world. nath as well of course and i am so proud of them both. they are incredible easy going parents and amongst the lack of sleep and the change in life that is happening for them i think they are loving it. the are admirable for sure. i love that i get to live with them and be apart of their world.

its an incredible journey seeing someone go thru the pregnancy stages and then at the end give birth to a baby. an absolute miracle that astounds me. thru the whole journey of seeing it as someone whos not immediately involved but a family member and close to the parents and now the bub...it obviously impacted me.

i hated seeing the pain that amy was going thru. she had a four day long labour and was in and out of hospital that whole time. her contractions started tuesday morning and finally ari was born 5.15pm on friday that week. i saw some of what amy went thru to finally get ari into the world. nath also had to be strong for amy and try and stay awake to and to be there for amy. i was impacted by their love and comittment to one another and choosing to go on this journey together. they were going thru this together.

it was an emotional week for my whole family in a way. mainly waiting to hear that ari was finally out and that amy was ok. every night we went into the hospital and i dropped them off we thought surely tonight she would be born, but it wasnt so until the friday afternoon.

seeing what amy and nath have gone thru has impacted me. somtimes i think about how i would love to share that one day with the man that i love and to have children with him and raise a family. but they are few and far between at the moment. i am very content with where my life is at at the moment. and if in time God brings children into my life i hope that i love them well and enjoy family life.

meditation

2010-03-17T11:34:00.001+11:00

so me and a good friend of mine have started going along to an open meditation group. i have never really thought i would get involved in it, but the more i have looked into it the more it interests me. so often many christians i find are opposed to such an idea...but why? its not something new in our faith, rather something that has been lost. the eastern world still have it very much apart of their culture. but the western world has lost it. in amongst all our busyness, striving and noise we have lost the art of being still. and i think we are paying for it. we have so much stress, anxiety and depression rampant in our culture and i wonder if it is stemmed from the ridiculous lives we attempt to live.

when talking with one of the ladies at this group she said so often through scripture God speaks of "be still and know that I am God." and thats it. just be still and know he is God. how often do we do that? i dont nearly enough. its almost another form of prayer. so often in my prayer life thats even busy and agendered, but in this form of prayer it is stopping and acknowledging God is God and being still.

uni 5 years later

2010-02-03T16:40:00.000+11:00

well i am back at uni. i went there in 2004 and 2005 and then chose to leave for multiple reasons and have now come to a place of choosing to return and do something completely different. i have been attending unistart this week. i never did it previously and now that i take it alot more seriously i have decided to attend. its just going over the basics of whats required at uni and the standards we are to meet. good to know.

i view it so differently. its fascinating to think back to how i was when i was there at the age of 18 and now attending at the age of 24 nearly 25. i think i am going to enjoy it so much more and have alot more confidence in myself in so many areas. i am so appreciative of the life experiences i have already been through and how that will help me in these coming years at uni.

i am looking forward to delving into knowledge and skills that will help me in helping others. i am looking forward to critically thinking about what is handed to us and asking questions and seeking out more than what is just seen.

i once heard a quote that i thought highly of, cant remember who said it:

"Knowledge is nothing without action."

families and weddings

2009-09-06T13:54:00.000+10:00

i am 24 and i am still going to alot of weddings. a few of my closest friends have recently married and i have some who are getting married soon and i have had the honour and have the honour of being a bridesmaid for them. i do think weddings themselves have blown way out of proportion and the companies and organisations that provide for weddings absolutely love it as their pockets are filled. i have noticed more and more that the huge focus, especially for women, has become the wedding day itself and not the marriage there after. what a mistake!! people spend so much time saving and dreaming about this one day and hardly a thought is put towards their future.

i have some friends who at present are planning on marriage. and their families are making it very difficult for them. why would they?? unless the family see that the prospective partner is not fit to be married why should it be such an issue. why do members of the family blow things out of proportion and choose not to support the son/daughter/sister/brother to marry? it seems so selfish and so unloving. such trivial things are blown out of proportion. why cant they be happy for them? why cant they let them go and let them be their own person and leave them to live their life and be excited for them? there is always so much tied up within families, so much pain and hurt thats flying around. people on the outside would have no idea whats going on unless it is mentioned. but within the family there is tension, pain and dissapointment.

why cant family members offer advice and thoughts if asked for but ultimately leave the couple in love to make their own decisions. and if things are hard or dont work out the family should choose to be there for them and help them through. not throw it back in their face. and the couple should do what they believe they are to do and enjoy the journey knowing their family have their back.

haha, so easily written and yet hardly applied to. i have certainly thrown in my 10c worth in the past when family members of mine have been married. or were dating for that matter! at the time i thought i had the right to speak into their life and that they apply what i had to say 'effective immediately!' if they had done that i wouldnt have an incredible example of marriage in my family who are both dear friends of mine. my opinions were coming from selfishness and fear of change. i also cared for them and wanted them to have a great marriage but didnt think thru the fact that they would never have a perfect marriage but a great marriage with plenty of hard work. no one has a perfect marriage!

everything is relative. wheres the respecting of eachother and feeling you have a place to speak into someones life and knowing that someone is going to respect your opinion? and speaking out of love? what does that look like? and taking on board what someone may say to you but still choosing what you believe is right for you as a couple?

i respect the parents and family members that support the soon to be married couples, but still share opinions out of love and concern. honesty is good. and i respect the couples that listen to the love and concern of others and standby what they believe they are to do. if only it could be that easy.

emma c.

beyond borders.

2009-08-27T20:50:00.000+10:00

recently watched this movie with my sis and bro in law. i love this kind of movie. i am deeply moved after having seen this. i saw it a couple of years ago and thought id watch it again with amy and nath who hadn't seen it. i would die happy if my life resembled something of the heart of this movie.

childhood.

2009-08-27T15:44:00.000+10:00

this is the beach near where my grandparents farm was. we went here all the time as kids.

i miss my childhood. my gran has been over for a week or so and it brings back all those memories when me and my family used to head over to gran and pop's farm and then when they moved, to the beach. i miss my pop to. he died about 9 years ago now. cant believe it has gone that fast. i still remember it like yesterday. i loved how the family all celebrated. we were sad that he had gone, but we made sure we enjoyed the weekend we were all together, ate and drank plenty as pop would have advised and celebrated his life well.

there is so much i miss from my childhood. its still weird to think that i am a grown adult now and live an adult life. its strange to think that i am 25 next year. when your a kid, thats old. but when your 1 year off 25 you still kinda feel like the same kid that used to look at people in their twenties and you couldn't wait to get there. now i am there and wanna go back to being a kid.

at the moment i am embracing childlikeness. i am simplifying my life down drastically. i want my faith to be more childlike. i can make things and thoughts so complex and have so many questions, and sometimes curiosity is a good thing, but i want to slow all the questions down and just be. just know that God is who He is and just be who I am. accept who i am. accept who i have been. i think about who i have been and i dont like that person. but i accept who i have been and who i am now and theres freedom. accepting others. i havent done that well. everyone is the same but different. and we all want acceptance. jesus was accepting of everyone. i want to be like him.

i dont want to hide. i want to be vulnerable. thats hard. but i know its good. when people are vulnerable with me i treasure it. its beautiful and i always learn so much from those moments. they are usually moments that i grab hold of and carry with me.

entering into the unknown

2009-08-01T15:29:00.000+10:00

I have just finished reading this inspiring and brilliant book. I reccomend it to anyone. It is about 2 australian gynaecologists setting up a hospital in ethiopia for women suffering the catastrophic effects of obstructed labour - something easily dealt with in the western world - but disastrous without medical intervention. Their life has been poured into this hospital and many women have recieved incredible care which has given them back their dignity, self-worth and life.

For the past 8 months i have been seriously considering going into medicine to work my way towards being an obstetrician and gynaecologist. The thought first popped into my mind when sitting with a friend, after having just come back from africa, talking about our direction in life. For the 2 years prior for me I lacked direction for my life and was struggling with where i was going and what i was doing with my life. also questionning who i was and the gifts and talents i posessed as i have changed dramatically over the past 5 years.

i had thought of many things i could throw my life into and i dabbled into different areas for a while. but nothing really stuck or i had a clear 'no' from God.

for most of my life i have had an interest in pregnancy, women and babies. i love hearing about birth stories and all that is involved. i gravitated towards horrific stories of women overseas and the things they would endure in child birth and the raising of children. i was overwhelmed to hear about female circumcision and the horrific ordeals many females go through, either for traditions sake or lack of medical care. i would collect any articles relating to these situations, not really knowing why. i had never thought to go into the medical world.

back to when i was chatting to my friend after returning from africa...she asked me why i dont become a nurse or a doctor? i honestly had never really thought of it. Over the coming months I realised I had shut that thought out simply because i never thought myself intelligent enough to study medicine. i failed biology in year 11 and therefore wrote off any vocation in nursing or medicine. i related doctors with those far out intelligent sorts that i should never dream to be. why bother to think about it if you would fail anyway.

but the more i did think about it the more i saw going into nursing or medicine lining up with so many passions i have and in so many areas i wanted to see change. i dared to think i could enter the medical world. i started to read up and study about what is required, but still all in the back of my mind thinking "what the hell am i doing? am i just playing around with something that is a waste for me to consider? i am biting off more than i can chew. should i really go for this? i am not intelligent enough. what if i fail?

i kept reading and praying about it. i found out about the course and things i needed to do before even getting into medicine. i was recently in hospital for 2 weeks and i constantly was asking doctors and nurses about the world they work in. the more i found out the more i was intrigued. i came to the conclusion last week that i am going to do all i can to specialise in obstetrics and gynaecology so that i may serve the women of this world in desperate need of medical care in places where there is no medical care, and mothers and their children are dying because not many want to reach them with what they require. there is such an abundance of medical help here in the western world but such a lack in the third world.

to think that i wanted to help women with ruined vaginas i thought a little odd. what a weird passion. when i read this book 'hospital by the river' it was like, wow...there is a reason for such a bizarre passion. i can in time truly help women who are suffering, who have been deserted, without dignity, self worth and giving birth to their dead children.

who knows whats ahead now for the next 15 years? alot of study i would assume. i know i have incredible support around me and i am going to do my best at becoming a doctor. i think about the cost that is involved and that it is a lifestyle and not a 'job.' but that only excites me in thinking of giving my life to serve others. i know that it will also be a very difficult journey. but i pray for the strength and determination to get through.

Moving and Change

2009-07-08T16:08:00.000+10:00

I have just moved house again! Hopefully I will be in this place for atleast 18 months. It can be a pain moving so much. Think I have moved 8 times in the past 3 years!! But I finally have all my stuff in one house. Over these past couple of days I have had time to go through the past ten years of my life and get rid of nearly everything that I have carried around for years. You can collect a hell of a lot of stuff over ten years. There's less clutter in my life now and I love it. Simplicity is a joy.

My life seems to be going down a path that I never thought it would. Its good but just different to how I imagined. Guess that happens when you commit your life to God. He takes over and guides you places where you never thought you'd go. The things and places I decided I would never do and be apart of God has slowly changed and grown me and brought me into these things I was once dead against. Fascinating!

The past three years I have found difficult. I have made some brilliant friendships which I am grateful for. But the gist of the past three years has been God pulling me away from what I thought was his way of doing things and showing me another way of knowing Him and being in community with others. In that time I wonder if I have been lost or just in the desert? Guess both. I have been struggling and fighting with Christ. Sometimes wanting to let it all go. But knowing I cant do that. He is the one thing that is solid and real in my life. Everything and everyone else passes by.

He is showing me a different way of loving people and seeing people. He is also giving me a passion for things he is passionate about and not things that are just the latest craze or next great idea. I want the stuff that is from His heart and thoughts. He is so patient with me. I can be so stubborn and find it hard to let things go. Yet he takes his time with me and reveals things to me as I need hear and see. I am so grateful for that. I would be such a mess without him. I am still a mess but he is with me.

It can be hard sometimes to determine between whats truth and whats hype and others opinions when both can be cased in truth. Too often today I think people have made a leader the truth rather than Christ the truth. I am soon going to a conference that is being put on by Tear and Forge. I am really looking forward to listening to these people and the journey they have been on with Christ.

I am very sick of the crap that is constantly taught today about life as a christian that is not truth. I am hungry for the real thing. The Christ centred stuff...nothing else.

Do you believe in the prosperity gospel?

2009-06-02T13:30:00.000+10:00

This video impacted me greatly. I have come to a place of disagreeing with the prosperity gospel but that was it...

I just disagreed. Yet is is something to be hated. I never looked at it this way until I saw this video. That it is

something that has become an idol in the western world and we are influencing the third world with it. It causes people

to look to the gift rather than the giver. For God to just be enough, for Him alone to be my portion...I dont know that I live this.

I don't. I always expect so much more...I deserve this, and I should get that, I am entitled to this....but what about He alone shall be my portion

and asking only for your daily bread. What sacrifice and yet what freedom.

It disturbs me the greed that has come upon the church today...upon my own life. I hate it. I want to loathe it. Having

spent 5 years in the pentecostal church, life revolves around the individual and what the individual can get from God.

When the supposed gospel is preached and there is the invitation for the individual to accept Christ into their life its all

about what they are 'owed', what they are 'due' now as a christian. Such as health, finance, happiness, your desires,

your dreams...that's as deep as it gets. That is not the gospel. The focus becomes about 'recieving what they are rightfully due'.

Then that becomes what they pursue. But what happens when these things are not happening. Anything that comes against the

individual receiving these supposed gifts is of the devil. The devil gets way too much credit for what he may have nothing

to do with. We just love to blame the devil rather than looking at ourselves. Or even looking to what God is doing in our life for that matter.

God loves to bless us. But maybe the word 'blessing' needs to be looked at more deeply and thought from God's

perspective of blessings. He is about our character. So wouldn't he allow us to go through things that build our

character and grow us more like his son Jesus. Seasons that teach us to rely on him and be totally dependant on him.

To become more intimate with him.

I don't want to think that the christian way is to live this happy (when your soul is happy because happenings are going

your way), flat lined, pursuit of the comfortable, be nice/weak to all people, way of life. Isnt that what the world pursues? I want to

know Christ, to bring Him glory and Him alone be my portion. It scares the shit out of me, yet its the safest place, I dont know what it looks like, but something in me desires

it above all else that I selfishly desire.